Random Thoughts: I Am Going To Show the World

The only type of people that have successful directing careers are white males.

I honestly started to make that the title of this post but decided against it midway through. lol. Anyways…


Sometimes I forget how much of a headache this “dream” I signed up to pursue really is. Like this Bs is going to be an uphill battle all of the way and yea I knew that when I started but I guess I never really understood just how much of an uphill battle that it really WOULD be and how easy it is to end up right back at square one.


I am going to show the world.

I’m really at this point in my life where I honestly believe with all of my heart that no one except for myself has real faith in me, but luckily for me I was raised on two things; “Fuck The World” and “Success is the best revenge.” Now, I would be lying if I said that feeling alone sometime did not mess with me, cause it does. I can’t even describe just how wack I feel sometimes, it’s this empty feeling I get in the pit of my stomach and a migraine from overthinking things as much as I do on top of a bunch of other things.

But this is also why I applaud my arrogance.

I think I said something similar in an older post, something like “You get tore down so much that you realize if you don’t build yourself back up no one will.” If so, that just might’ve been the realest shit I ever wrote.

Thanks for not believing. That’ll be the reason I win.

I am going to show the world

I am going to show the world

I am going to show the world

I am going to show the world





Stressed. This is The Part They Should Tell You

The journey to success separates the people that really want it from the people that just do it.

This is the part they should tell you about when You’re chasing your dreams. How you’ll feel stagnant, out of place and occasionally feel like a failure when things aren’t moving the way that they could be. In all honesty, since the new year started I’ve been back and forth in my feelings. I’ve been trying to acquire patience, but sometimes it feels like it’s a voice in the back of my head asking me just what it is I think I’m waiting on.

I believe in speaking things into existence. I meditate when I feel like there is nothing else I can do. But MAN ish just be wack. At one point I could measure my progress every month and see how close I was getting to where I wanted to be, cause every month I was a tad bit closer even if it was by an inch. Every month I actually DID something towards my dream. But I have not done anything towards my dream in six months. Maybe more, and for a person that’s use to doing something towards it all of the time that is a long time. I’m so stressed. I haven’t left my house since January 1st.

Playing phone tag with people that “believe” or so they say. Those open ended “Yea, I’ma call you right back.” and the “I’ma see what I can do.” Oh, and the being broke part is the absolute worst.

I guess the outcome that you want never comes the way that you want it to, or with whom you want it to. I recently watched The Secret and one of the quotes that stuck with me was

Only focus on the what and not the how.

Meaning that by focusing on the outcome, the path will reveal itself.  Out of everything in that documentary, that sticks with me the most and I don’t know why. But I think the line is really powerful.



I’ve Been Browsing – Five Webseries You Should Check Out

hqdefaultI don’t know where I’ve been for the past two years (if not longer..) but it seems that the DIY Tv Shows aka Webseries have become very popular on youtube lately, especially those from the black perspective. For the past four months or so I’ve been watching and researching to the point where I am more than certain I spend more time on Youtube than I do actually watching television, and one thing is for certain.. I REALLY miss SCRIPTED tv. But I compiled this list to encourage whoever is reading this to go on youtube and support indie filmmakers, it’s really good material on there.  Ok it’s some bad shh on there too, but what’s life without balance?

Do not confine yourself to this list either. By all means browse, maybe’s there’s one I missed or haven’t seen yet. Who knows. But here you go:

1. Awkward Black Girl

Issa Rae has to be the youtube queen of webseries, I really idolize her DIY mentality. She’s so creative and supportive of others. But Awkward Black Girl is a webseries about an awkward black girl, well, a normal everyday black girl if you ask me.

2. Hello Cupid

Hello Cupid was actually the first webseries I ever watched, and I watched the whole first season in one day, if I had to summarize it I’d label it “Catfish the scripted tv show” It’s interesting. At first I did not know what to expect from it but then it got really good.

3. Venus Vs. Mars

This is a UK webseries, so if UK accents don’t bother you (The male accents took some getting use to) this show is worth watching. It’s pretty much about this girl’s misadventures in the dating world. I love it.

4. Black and Single

This Show is hilarious and set in Atlanta and again takes on the dating scene this time from both a make and female’s perspective.

5. Lenox Avenue

I’m still out on how I really feel about Lenox Avenue, part of me feels like there is too much sex and not enough plot, but there’s so much drama and I see where they’re at least trying to go with it so I feel like there’s still hope.

there’s also Roomieloverfriends, That Guy, Yellow, The Complex, I mean the list goes on and on and on. But check those out! Let me know if I’m missing any. Lol.

Jazmin Sisters – YOU [Official Music Video]

Ok.. so I’m browsing wordpress, like I do every now and then, listening to indie R&B and hip hop artists (if you follow me on twitter you see me posting links to up and coming artists all of the time) and I stumble upon this girl R&B group, at least I think it’s R&B… and all I have to say is.. I’m sold. lol.

Maybe it’s the nineties-esque style of dress, maybe it’s cause I miss female R&B groups I don’t know. But I’m telling you, it’s worth at least one listen. I was nervous when I heard the SWV sample but as the song went on I decided that this song was something that I would not have a problem with bumping in my every day life. Lol. (s/o to femaleflow.com because that’s the site I found them on) Check it out below: