Just Venting

Sometimes I really hate being a black woman, especially when I think about the overall representation of us.

Desperate. Spiteful. Petty. Weak. Selfish.

Black Women who uplift each other are RARE. Yes we should look at the man who portray us this way with side eyes but we should also look at the women who perpetuate the perception of us. After all, they are not pulling these descriptions out of thin air.

Why is it that a black woman is more likely to help a black man get on other than a black female? (The terms of “On” can be defined later lol.) And a black man is more likely to put a white man on other than anyone black. (Again, more on that later.)

I have reached out to so many black women in my field for advice and only two have ever reached back out to me. Why? Why is it predesigned for us to be petty and caddy towards each other? is it basketball wives and love & hip hop? Was it the way we were raised? Is it fear that the person we help out will become more successful than us? I don’t think I’ll ever understand.

Females will beef with a girl over a guy that was playing the both of them, then forgive the guy and hate the female forever. Baby mama drama, ratchetry, bitches & hoes, all things that are just natural when it comes to us but I feel like no one ever examines why or even attempts to put forth the effort to implement a change to it.

Natural girls judge the girls that perm their hair, girls that perm their hair turn their nose up to the women that don’t but we’re both black and police will still shoot your son or brother dead in the street and not give a f*ck whether your hair is straightened or not.

These terms we use to separate ourselves from one another “Weird” “I’m different” “I’m mixed” Getting piercings and tattoos etc, but we are still all black women.

Smh. It’s so ingrained in us that I doubt it’ll ever change in my life time and I’m only 23. ✌️

Just a little food for thought.

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I’ve Been Browsing – Five Webseries You Should Check Out

hqdefaultI don’t know where I’ve been for the past two years (if not longer..) but it seems that the DIY Tv Shows aka Webseries have become very popular on youtube lately, especially those from the black perspective. For the past four months or so I’ve been watching and researching to the point where I am more than certain I spend more time on Youtube than I do actually watching television, and one thing is for certain.. I REALLY miss SCRIPTED tv. But I compiled this list to encourage whoever is reading this to go on youtube and support indie filmmakers, it’s really good material on there.  Ok it’s some bad shh on there too, but what’s life without balance?

Do not confine yourself to this list either. By all means browse, maybe’s there’s one I missed or haven’t seen yet. Who knows. But here you go:

1. Awkward Black Girl

Issa Rae has to be the youtube queen of webseries, I really idolize her DIY mentality. She’s so creative and supportive of others. But Awkward Black Girl is a webseries about an awkward black girl, well, a normal everyday black girl if you ask me.

2. Hello Cupid

Hello Cupid was actually the first webseries I ever watched, and I watched the whole first season in one day, if I had to summarize it I’d label it “Catfish the scripted tv show” It’s interesting. At first I did not know what to expect from it but then it got really good.

3. Venus Vs. Mars

This is a UK webseries, so if UK accents don’t bother you (The male accents took some getting use to) this show is worth watching. It’s pretty much about this girl’s misadventures in the dating world. I love it.

4. Black and Single

This Show is hilarious and set in Atlanta and again takes on the dating scene this time from both a make and female’s perspective.

5. Lenox Avenue

I’m still out on how I really feel about Lenox Avenue, part of me feels like there is too much sex and not enough plot, but there’s so much drama and I see where they’re at least trying to go with it so I feel like there’s still hope.

there’s also Roomieloverfriends, That Guy, Yellow, The Complex, I mean the list goes on and on and on. But check those out! Let me know if I’m missing any. Lol.

Blogging Challenge Day 24

24. Your favorite movie and what it is about.

My favorite movie right now would have to be The Hunger Games. It’s about this girl who takes her sister place in The games, ( A game where people fight to the death until there is only one winner) I don’t wanna give the plot away too much, but it is one of  maybe four films right now that I can watch more than once. Cant wait for the sequels to be released.

Random Thoughts – I Support Me

People play too much. Lol. At one point in time I called myself an aspiring director. I took the word “aspiring” out when I started getting paid to do it. No I’m not big time, no I’m not top 100 (insert 1 million quotes in here that concludes with me saying Im not the best/worst) whatever.

Moving on.. I said all that to say this. Don’t play with me. I’m broke. Like dead broke. I don’t have parents to run and borrow money from when shit happens. The only time there is money in my pockets, gas in my car, food in my stomach is when I direct something/edit something/ take a picture of something. It’s that fact that drives me. “If I don’t do this I won’t eat.” How many other people in the world can say that? So don’t play with me. If you want to work with me, be SERIOUS. It’s getting to the point where if a person fucks with my directing they’re fucking with my livelihood. I don’t think I like my livelihood being messed with.

You can think I’m a bitch. You can think I’m arrogant. You can think I only care about myself. You can think that I have this sense of entitlement. You can think whatever the fuck it is that you want to think. Just pay me, respect my craft (it’s the LEAST you could do) and gtf on. I don’t wanna be nice anymore. I don’t wanna beg people to work with me, to like me. My life needs to move on from that. I’m going to keep working with who I’ve been working with and if that comes to an end I’ll just move on to the next. I no longer care about the minor shit.I know that at the end of the day I will die as a director. The real mystery is how successful will I be?

Be SERIOUS. AT the end of the day some of this shit is just a hobby to yall anyway. Too bad it’s not just a hobby for me. I don’t punch the clock at McDonald’s or some other wack ass fast food spot. Directing is my 9-5. Just RESPECT what I’m trying to do. And this not even half of all of the shit I wanna say I just know that it’s best to end it here.

All Varsity Music: One For The Night [Video]

As promised All Varsity Music drops the visuals to  first single from their  AVM Thursdays series “One For The Night” Ft. Justin Daye, Brandon Bars, and Nizo. Directed by myself, trust me when I say it was more stressful than anything else, well for me at least. Check out the video below and be sure to tune in every Thursday for AVM Thursdays.

Random Thoughts – I Can Still Fuck When I’m 39

No seriously. I can still fuck when I’m 39. I try not to do “I don’t understand people” posts but I REALLY DON”T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE lol. I’m an aspiring artist, an aspiring director to be more specific. Believe it or not this shit has a time limit. Too often do people fall into the politically correct BS of “You’re never too old to follow your dreams”. The saying is definitely true. You are never to old to follow your dreams.  But I actually want to be young enough to enjoy the fruits of my labor.. so for me IT IS.

I seriously question people’s drive sometimes. Like, in a previous post I joked about being asexual, but now I’m starting to think that I may not be joking. Someone once told me if you can want something more than you want sex you are more likely to achieve it and it made me think. The saying wasn’t about sex or dating specifically but all of the characteristics of “Being Regular” (Like the behaviors or hobbies of an assistant manager at Arby’s) Here you are, saying that you have this goal or dream that you want to reach but the moment anything else comes up that’s what immediately gets your attention. It just so happens that 9 times out of 10 for guys it is sex. Lol.

People’s actions do not match their words and the shit perplexes me. lol. You put your dreams on the backburner for anything, and I understand important shit but ANYTHING? Come on man. I’m twenty and I feel a sense of urgency. I do not want to be 35 and just now getting into the entertainment industry. I’m sorry. I don’t. I can still fuck when I’m 39 but I REFUSE to still be a struggling artist at 39, the shit just doesn’t appeal to me. But hey, to each it’s own.